So Grateful

Jeff, Cate, and I took a trip to the Scottish Rite Children's Hospital today. Our pediatrician has been worried that Cate isn't crawling with her belly off the floor or pulling up on things yet, and wanted to check out her hips. We had x-rays done on Monday, and we took them with us today. Everything is fine. The doctors at Scottish Rite thought, as Jeff and I did, that Cate would do it when she was ready. Ah well, that's not really what this post is about anyway.

I was/am already so grateful for Cate. We're incredibly lucky, and I know it. But today, it really hit home.

Sitting in the waiting room at SR was like sitting in a whole different world. In the 2 1/2 hours we were there, we met an 18 month old with no legs and one hand, a boy about 12 with burns so severe he lost his foot, I saw babies with casts, toddlers in wheelchairs, and one beautiful little girl with a metal halo attached to a hook that held her head up as she walked. And parents, who were totally chill and laid back and knew that hospital like the backs of their hands. Parents who commented on Cate's long legs, when their daughter had none.

I am so grateful. We have a beautiful, smart, healthy little girl. She may not crawl yet, but that doesn't stop her from chasing the cat all over the house. I told her "no" today, and she looked at me and said "ok". She smiled and charmed every person she met today, even giving the old doctor a hug. She did not cry once during the 2 1/2 hours we were at the hospital, even though most of that was spent waiting. She played, and watched, and talked.

She is absolutely perfect. She is more than I ever dreamed, and I am so glad she's mine.

So glad, and so so thankful.

Over and Done With

I can't say I'm sad to see 2011 go. I'm not. I'm thrilled. I'm relieved that a new year has started, that I might be able to breathe again.

Don't misunderstand me. 2011 brought us Cate, and so was a wonderful year, family-wise. It will go down in history as the Best. Year. Ever. because of her.

But really, the year sucked. It sucked balls. I'm so glad it's gone.

How nice to be able to write that.

In 2011, we dealt with: extra hospital bills from Cate's birth, her broken clavicle, a busted toliet, a toliet flood, a broken computer, 2 car breakdowns, 2 broken air conditioners, another broken toliet, a puddle in the middle of my bedroom from a cracked foundation, broken tiles in the shower, and a leaky watering system that caused our water bill to double for months. We paid countless medical bills, 3 tickets, more medical bills. I put my wonderful boy Dobby to sleep. Jeff had a stomach virus, then mono, then mono and stomach virus. He had an ER visit, a TIA, and a terrified wife.

Truly. I'm so glad that damn year is over.

This year is already starting out better. My little brother proposed to his girlfriend, so I'll soon have a new sister. We still have medical bills to pay from Jeff's hospital visit, but thankfully they're manageable. The puddle in my bedroom is dried up; hopefully insurance can take care of it permanantly.

We still have a gorgeous daughter, who is finally cutting her first two teeth and is army crawling all over the house. She babbles at us, and laughs, and gets angry when we don't share our food with her. She's trying to set herself up from her stomach, and I'm sure she'll be pulling herself up to standing in no time. Quite frankly, this house can crumble down around me. As long as I have Cate, I won't be too upset.

But I'm really really hoping this year is better than last.

Worries...

I must admit, I am worried about Cate.

She is not crawling yet. Nor is she pulling herself up on furniture and such.

At 9 months, she should be doing these things. The baby books say so. Even the doctor was concerned yesterday that she's not doing either yet. Dr. M expected her to be "cruising", which is pulling herself up and taking a few steps while holding on to furniture.

She shows no desire to move her feet while standing.

She will get up on all fours, but never moves. She just lays back down.

I wasn't that worried until we went to the doctor yesterday, and she was concerned. Then today, on Face.book, someone posted about how her 9-months tomorrow baby took her first step today. Her daughter is walking, and Cate's not even crawling yet?

She's met most other milestones. She knows her name, understands "no", and repeats sounds all the time. She can't pick things up with just a finger and thumb, she's still fisting everything, but I think part of that was us not giving her things she could pick up like that. I am trying to remedy that.

I don't know what to do about the crawling/standing though. I know all babies crawl/stand/walk at different times, but it seems like she's really behind.

Also, just FYI, she's in the 50th percentile for weight, but off the charts in length. Like, past 99th. She's super long. No teeth yet. Talks and sings constantly. Still adores the dogs. And is absolutely precious.

Pregnant Women are Smug

Seriously, couldn't resist. Hilarious

genetics suck

I've been turned down as an egg donor for the clinic/company I chose. Because my dad and granddad both died of heart attacks, I apparently don't qualify, at least according to the woman who emailed me. She said that FDA regulations don't allow that many instances of heart disease/heart attacks in my immediate family.

I will say that: a) I didn't know grandparents were immediate family and b) I couldn't find anything about that in the FDA donor regulations that I spent over an hour reading last night.

I will also say that I am pretty upset about this. Wondering if it's worth it to try another place, or accept that I have crappy genes that no one would want anyway.

A Celebration of Babies

Today, my old RE's office hosted a Celebration of Babies. They invited all of the patients who they helped become parents.

It was so cool. It wasn't a huge deal. Just a tent in the parking lot of the office. Balloons, face painting, and cupcakes for the kids, and pictures with Dr. G. A couple of hours hanging out outside in the nice weather, chatting with other parents.

Jeff and I agreed it was unlike any party we've ever been to. Usually, we at least know someone. Here, we were all strangers, but with something in common. It's not like the RE's office invites lots of chatting and new friends. So it was neat to talk to people who are every bit as grateful for their children as we are for Cate. Singleton babies like Cate were definitely the minority, but what can you expect from a party thrown for former RE patients?

It was awesome. I think Dr. G really liked seeing all the kids, and I know the nurses did. They said they're going to try it every year, and I really hope they do.

Eggs, Toes, and Shout-Outs

First off, I have a few shout-outs go give. Rach and Lindsay both have beautiful babies that you should go oooh and aaaah over if you're up for it. Seriously precious. And Rebekah has an early new arrival!

Foxy and Melissa both had wonderful baby showers for their soon-to-be-here babies!

Cherbear, Michele, Jenni, and Jackie are all either in the middle of their TWW, or about to start a new round of treatment. Go wish them luck.

Finally, go say hello to Auntie A. She just boarded the crazy MFI train, and could probably use some friends and well-wishes.

Now for the toes. Well, toe. I wasn't planning on writing about it, but it's pretty much the only thing on my mind at the moment. I kicked a desk this morning. Not on purpose. I turned in my chair to talk to one of my students, and kicked the edge of a medal desk in doing so. As soon as I did, I reached down and grabbed my toe, cause it HURT, but didn't look at it for like, 3 minutes while I talked to the kids. When I finally let go, my hand was covered in blood. I sliced my little toe open almost an inch. I put a band-aid on it, but it has been bleeding and throbbing all day. Probably doesn't help that I also managed to whack it another 3 times. Oh, it hurts.

Ok, now for the eggs. Egg donation, that is. Way back in August when I did my survey, most women said they went through their RE to find a donor. Unfortunately, all the research I've done and phone calls I've made have pretty much solidified the fact that most REs in the area use donor agencies. So, I researched those and finally sent in a preliminary application to one. They, in turn, send me about a billion questions to answer that are ridiculously hard.

For instance, one is "What does family mean to you?"

Really? What family means to me I can't put in to words, and every time I try, it sounds canned. Also, I have no idea how to describe myself, nor do I particularly think I have any talents or achievements to share. And, one of the questions asked for future career goals. How do I say I am perfectly happy where I am, and have no desire to move up into administration without sounding like a loser-y, lazy bum?

Ohmigosh. It's hard. Unbelievably, the hardest question is "why do you want to be a donor?" That shouldn't be hard. I know exactly why I want to be a donor. She's sleeping in her crib right now. Because everyone should have this. But how do I say that without coming off as crazy???

That's all I have to say.

No....my toe hurts. Now that's all.