11 Weeks

How far along? 11 weeks

Total weight gain? 5-ish pounds

Symptoms? Nausea is marginally better.  Dreams are still nuts.  Absolute exhaustion.  Boobs hurt.

Baby Size:  Lime!

Sleep? Sleeping fine

Best Moment last week? I slept all week, so that was nice.

Movement? too soon

Food Cravings? I don't want food at all.  Forcing myself to eat at this point.

What I miss? Not feeling sick.  Being able to go on walks and play with Cate.

What I am looking forward to? Monday's appointment.  We're getting one more  ultrasound to check the size of my ovaries, but we'll get to hear the heartbeat.

Milestones? I've made it 11 weeks without throwing up!

How is Daddy? Getting a little more excited, I think.  Can't tell though.    

I missed posting last week for 10 weeks.  Like I said, I slept all week!  

9 Weeks, 1 Day

How far along? 9 Weeks, 1 Day

Total weight gain? I forgot to check

Symptoms? Still the nausea.  I'm so tired of it.  And the vivid pregnancy dreams are wearing me out.

Baby Size:  Green Olive

Sleep? Can't get enough!  Sleeping pretty well too, thanks to the anti-nausea stuff.  Except for the stupid dreams.

Best Moment last week? I actually had two days when I felt decent!

Movement? too soon

Food Cravings? milk and sushi.  Not together though.

What I miss? Not feeling sick.  Being able to go on walks and play with Cate.

What I am looking forward to? The next sonogram.  I've been getting extras, thanks to the OHSS, so the next sonogram is at just over 11 weeks.  I never get tired of those.  We'll finally get to hear the heartbeat, and hopefully see that my freaking ovaries have shrunk.

Milestones? I've made it 9 weeks and 1 day without throwing up! 

How is Daddy? Tired of me being sick, I think.  Also dead set on naming the baby Shadow.  No.  

8 Weeks, 2 Days

How far along? 8 Weeks, 2 Days

Total weight gain? 3 lbs

Symptoms? Ugh.  Nausea.  I'm so not good with the nausea.  Of course, I'm sure a lot of it is caused by the OHSS, but since there's no way to differentiate between morning sickness and OHSS related nausea....  Also, my boobs hurt.  A lot.  

Stretch Marks? I think I'm going to delete this question.  How on earth am I supposed to see new ones in all the old ones from Cate????

Sleep? I love it.  It's the best thing in the whole world.  I'd sleep all day if I could.  Of course, I have the super-awesome vivid dreams, but still.

Best Moment last week? Telling Cate.  She was so excited.  She couldn't wait to tell everyone she saw "my mommy has a baby in her tummy, and I'm going to be a big sister!"

Movement? too soon

Food Cravings? Right now, I'm usually lucky if anything sounds good.  Did go through a phase where I wanted salsa on everything, but that was before the nausea hit.  

What I miss? drinking.  haha

What I am looking forward to? The next sonogram.  I've been getting extras, thanks to the OHSS, so the next sonogram is at just over 11 weeks.  I never get tired of those.  We'll finally get to hear the heartbeat, and hopefully see that my freaking ovaries have shrunk.

Milestones? I've made it 8 weeks and 2 days without throwing up! 

How is Daddy? Not quite as excited as I am yet....I don't think it's sunk in for him.  

Uhhhhhh

Well... Hi...

It's been four years of radio silence from my end...and even longer since I posted anything relevant.

But...

Here I am.  Posting on a nearly defunct blog.  Probably writing to myself, since I'm sure followers have long since moved on.  But I'm trying to calm myself down, and I know that this is the best way to do it.

Cate is 5 years old.  She's finishing her third week of Kindergarten as we speak.  And now, finally, we are trying for number 2.  We start Sunday.

Holy crap.  Seriously.  AF should start on Sunday, I should start Clomid on Tuesday, and sometime around the 22nd, we'll do the IUI.

It doesn't seem real.  This time around it seems thrown together.  Very spur of the moment.  Maybe because we're doing the IUI through my OB/GYN instead of an RE.  I don't know.

....wish me luck.

Half Life

I realize I've kind of dropped off the face of the earth the past few months.  And this is not the post for me to update everyone. 

Today marks the 14th anniversary of my dad's death.  I have officially lived half my life without my father.

Although I thought this was crazy to think about, I thought I was ok with it.  But today, when I had my students write letters to their dads (like I do every year on this day) I started crying when telling them why they were writing. 

Apparently, 14 years isn't enough to get over missing your dad.   

But what if I don't LIKE him?

Apparently, having a child who turns one sends out an invisible signal to everyone else on the planet. This signal induces nosy word-vomit that comes out in the form of "So, when is number 2?"

I don't know what to say to this. Partly because it's none of their busines, but partly because I don't know the answer myself.

Number 2?

I always wanted 4. Now that I have Cate, I only want her.

I know I would love another baby. But I'm not sure I'd like him or her. Cate is an exceptionally easy baby. If I had one that cried all the time, or woke up every two hours, I'm afraid all I would do is compare that baby to Cate. And resentment would follow.

There is a huge part of me that feels selfish for this. I have never met anyone who loved being an only child. I feel like I will be depriving Cate of all kinds of cool-ness having siblings gives you. And when she's all grown up and Jeff and I are gone? Who will she have, if not a brother or sister?

That doesn't seem like a terribly legit reason to have another.

I suppose I still have a while to think about this. We can't afford daycare for 2 kids, no matter what. So #2 won't be in the picture until Cate is at least 3 and in district pre-school. But that's 2 years away.

What the heck to I say to everyone between now and then?

Oh, so Random

A few pieces of what's floating through my head at the moment:

1. Cate turned 1 on Sunday. While I still maintain that there's no way she's already one, it happened. And her Uncle and soon-to-be-Aunt got her a shirt that says "Made with Love and Science". LOVE IT.

2. I ordered this shirt for myself yesterday. Cannot wait till it comes in! I was never a Snape fan till the end of HPatDH, but I'm loving it now. AND, I can wear it when my grade does our brand spanking new HP unit at the end of this year. We are turning our hallway into Hogwarts!

3. Hunger Games comes out this weekend! Aunt and Uncle are coming over to watch Cate on Saturday so we can go see it. Super excited about this.

4. Also on Saturday, the local roller derby league is having a Bout. I really really really want to join this roller derby league, and will as soon as I can afford the starter package and am sure I have a job next year (that's up in the air, but I really don't want to talk about it). I can't wait to go see an actual roller derby bout in person!

5. Sunday night is my first ever book club meeting. I've always wanted to be in a book club, and now I am. We read 2 books, mostly cause of a misunderstanding. We read "Delirium" by Lauren Oliver and "Divergent" by Veronica Roth. The first was ok, the second was fantastic. Seriously waiting for that movie now too.

If you like to read, go get "Divergent". It's in the teen fiction. Read it, then come back here and tell me what faction you think you'd be in. Belive me, picking factions is more fun that picking Hogwarts Houses. (Delirium is teen fiction too, if you're interested.)