Something was said to me this weekend that was the most hurtful thing anyone has ever said to me.
It physically hurts me. I feel like there is a hole in my chest, like I was punched. The words hurt that much.
I won't mention who said them or what they were, but they hurt.
Now I feel like I'm second-guessing everything I say or do. I'm afraid to talk, but I'm afraid not to. I'm afraid I'll say the wrong thing.
I know this isn't making much sense. I'm sorry.
I think I need an anti-depressant.
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About Me
- Julie
- Wife of Jeff, Mommy of Cate, owner of Winky, and Kreacher, human of Lily, driver of the Bean, teacher of children, maker of messes. I think that about sums it up.
Links!
Our Timeline
September 2008- Officially start Trying
October 2009- Finally work up the guts to go to the OB/GYN and see what's wrong with me. Convince dr. to go ahead and let DH to a SA at the same time.
November 2009- My tests came back fine. DH's SA came back with horrible results: No sperm.
November 2009- 1st appt. w/a male reproductive specialist. DH diagnosed w/azoospermia. Given hormone therapy while awaiting blood tests.
December 2009- Azoospermia confirmed. DH's blood work came back: AZFC chromosomal abnormality.
January 2010- 1st appt. with RE. Schedule first dIUI for February.
February 2010- Ha. Just Kidding. dIUI totally missed, due to not ovulating, and the fact that the sp.erm was sitting on the runway in Virgina during Snowpocalypse 8, or whatever they called it, during the window. Now shooting for March, with Clo.mid.
March 2010- dIUI #1 w/ Clo.mid. BFN.
April 2010- Cancelled dIUI w/Clo.mid because of inadequate follicles.
May 2010- HSG test, all clear!
June 2010- dIUI #2 w/150mg Clo.Mid. BFP!!! October 2010- It's a GIRL!
March 2011- Cate is born, and is perfect!
People Who Make Me Feel Loved
Books I have read this year. (My goal is 100!)
Anne of Green Gables (again!)
The Kitchen House (Good, but freaking depressing)
Darkly Dreaming Dexter
The Kitchen House (Good, but freaking depressing)
Darkly Dreaming Dexter
((((Hugs)))) I want to punch whoever did this to you...this should be a really entirely happy time in your life.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to hear this. I hate it when people say hurtful things. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteHey Julie,
ReplyDeleteI read your post yesterday, but was way too emotional myself to respond. I've been thinking about you since, and really do wish that I could offer a real live hug, or a meal, or to whisk you away for a pedicure, or something else a little more 'tangible' than a comment here.
I have lots more to say, and will send you an email.
xoxo - Foxy
Oh no, I'm so sorry. I hope the hurt will wear away QUICKLY and that life will get back to normal soon soon!! Take care of yourself x
ReplyDelete