What a Day

Today, I think Cate woke up on the wrong side of the bed. She had a rough day. She didn't want to eat, she didn't want her pacifier, she didn't want her thumb. She didn't want to sit in her bouncy chair, sit in her swing, lay on her play mat, or take a nap. She wanted to be held. All. Day.

Please don't misunderstand me. I have no problem holding her. But to hold a 14 pound baby all day is a little exhausting. Especially when that 14 pound baby is a wiggle worm who would NOT sit still for more than 2 minutes at a time. And when that 14 pound wiggle worm was sleepy and fussy and refusing to sleep.

Not that it was all bad, or really even bad at all. She woke up smiling instead of crying (a new development), laughed when I tickled her, smiled everytime I talked to her, and sat and "talked" to Jeff for a good 20 minutes today. She blew bubbles and chewed on her giraffe lovie. So maybe she didn't have a rough day. Except for the wanting to be held all day part.

In other news, I decided to stop pumping, then changed my mind, then changed it again, then changed it again. So I'm still pumping. For now. :)
I have a whole post coming (when I find time! This is the first time I've had more than 5 minutes to myself since school got out) about where Cate is sleeping and my family's attitude about it.
We're gearing up to take Cate to Kansas next weekend, and I am really really dreading it. Not the Kansas part, but the drive up there. That's a super long drive for Cate to be in a car seat, and for us to worry about her. I am super stressed over it.
I am slightly obsessed with the show Extreme Couponing on TLC. More on this later too.

I'm still reading blogs when I can, but still can't comment. Working on that in my spare time. (HA!)

How do they do it?

I am not a worrier. I don't stress out about anything. I am a very laid-back person. I have a "ehh, whatever" attitude, which has gotten me in trouble before.

Someone forgot to tell my new parent-self that. I worry contstantly. Right now, Cate and Jeff are both asleep downstairs, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to run down there every ten minutes to make sure she's still breathing. If she's asleep and I'm not, you better believe I'm worried.

I have also lost the ability to enjoy such shows as Law and Order, NCIS, and Dexter. No matter how hard I try to avoid it, my mind envisions my family in the same situations. Cate kidnapped, Cate missing...you get the idea. Despite the fact that I know they're just TV shows. They scare me, and just add to my ever-growing list of anxieties.

How do parents do it? How do they ever relax enough to let their kid go to Grandma's for the night, or a sleepover, or a field trip? How will I, when I can't even let mine sleep without worrying?

In other news....

Just a few updates and random bits from my life...

• I made Cate laugh today. Not just once, but a couple times. It's the first time she's laughed. I think I'm more proud of this than I was of anything else in my life.

• Speaking of pride, our standardized test results came in. In math and writing, exactly 1/2 my class got a commended score (meaning they missed less than 3 questions for each test) and in reading, I had 19 out of 22 commended. I'm pretty proud of that.

• I'm more proud of making Cate laugh! :)

• It's hot here. 100 degrees today. I. Love. It. Seriously. :)

• One of my co-workers asked when I was going to try for number two. (Cause, you know, Cate's 12 weeks...it's time.) I told her it would be when we could afford it. She goes on to lecture me about how diapers and formula aren't THAT expensive. I stopped her mid-sentence and said "M. We have to save to get pregnant before we can worry about affording diapers." She was like "oh yeah."

• There are 2 days of school left! It's glorified babysitting at this point. So ready to be done.

• Did I mention I made Cate laugh?

Comments

Blogger isn't letting me comment, like it's doing to so many other people. So, I'm writing a quick post instead. I'd like to mention everyone, but I think I only have 2 minutes, tops, before Cate wakes up.

Les, I'm so glad H is getting to stay with you a bit longer. I hope her stay continues! And I'm super jealous that you are done with school! We still have a week.

Christine, Piper is absolutely beautiful. Congratulations! And I *love* her name!

Kir, I loved your story about Jacob and Captain Pipe. It made me cry. :)

That's it! I hear crying. Love to you all!