Thursday, March 22, 2012

But what if I don't LIKE him?

Apparently, having a child who turns one sends out an invisible signal to everyone else on the planet. This signal induces nosy word-vomit that comes out in the form of "So, when is number 2?"

I don't know what to say to this. Partly because it's none of their busines, but partly because I don't know the answer myself.

Number 2?

I always wanted 4. Now that I have Cate, I only want her.

I know I would love another baby. But I'm not sure I'd like him or her. Cate is an exceptionally easy baby. If I had one that cried all the time, or woke up every two hours, I'm afraid all I would do is compare that baby to Cate. And resentment would follow.

There is a huge part of me that feels selfish for this. I have never met anyone who loved being an only child. I feel like I will be depriving Cate of all kinds of cool-ness having siblings gives you. And when she's all grown up and Jeff and I are gone? Who will she have, if not a brother or sister?

That doesn't seem like a terribly legit reason to have another.

I suppose I still have a while to think about this. We can't afford daycare for 2 kids, no matter what. So #2 won't be in the picture until Cate is at least 3 and in district pre-school. But that's 2 years away.

What the heck to I say to everyone between now and then?


  1. I'm dreading those questions, too! I am just going to tell people that I am infertile and that babies don't always come when we want them to. I would LOVE #2 RIGHT. NOW. Even though I have the most perfect (almost) 10 month old... Slept through the night at 8 weeks :)... I still want to do it again.

    I hope you come up with the most perfect answer :).

  2. Just to let you know, for the sake of balance, I know two very happy grown up only children, who would not swap their single status for anything. They love being the only child of their parents, and have created 'friend' siblings who they are really close too, for when they need that sort of thing.

  3. I know quite a few only child kids (adults now) That loved growing up that way and still do now. You could answer with "We don't know. We are enjoying our only one right now. They grow up way too fast" something simple and easy that gets it onto how adorable Kate is. :)

  4. I'm a younger sister, and so I feel like a traitor to myself and my family by wondering how I could possibly love a second baby as much as I love my son. I feel like my husband and I won the lottery with him--although he's not an easy baby at all. (If there's any balance in the world, the second one will be easy because our son is a difficult [and delightful] little cuss.)

    When I'm not sure about having another, I remember how important it is to me for my son to have a sibling, because of how important my relationship with my older sister is. And I trust that the like/love/stars in my eyes for my child will follow.