How is pregnancy like a paper cut?

Or, to be even more vague,

"How is a raven like a writing desk?"

I couldn't sleep last night and though up an awesome blog post about how it feels to carry a baby that is half stranger. But of course, I can't remember much of it this morning, except that I had compared it to a paper cut. So bear with me.

When we first got our azoo diagnosis, and we realized that children that were biologically "ours" were out of the question, I felt like I'd been shot. I felt like I was going to bleed to death from the pain of it. Of course, that pain has dulled. Had it not, I'm not sure I would be a functioning human being.

It still hurts though. But it feels more like a paper cut than a bullet hole. How?

Think about a paper cut. A deep one. Sure, it hurts like the dickens, and you're irritated that you just got a paper cut, because really, how useless is that? But the pain fades until you go and use antibacterial stuff or get dish soap in it. Then it stings just as much as it did when you got it.

This DS thing is kind of like that.

Actually, it's a lot like that. It hurt to begin with, that this baby didn't ever have the chance to inherit my husband's gorgeous blue eyes or is perpetual energy or his ability to have a conversation with a tree stump.

Most of the time, I don't think about that. Most of the time, I think about our daughter, and how loved she already is, and how awesome it'll be when she gets here.

But then, something will happen to bring the sting back. Like a complete stranger commenting on how curly her hair is sure to be when they see Jeff and I together. Or conversations about other babies and which parent they look like the most, and knowing that while these conversations will surely happen about Cate, Jeff, and I, they will be skewed. I assume these things will always sting, like a never-ending, never-healing paper cut.

And really, how useless is that?

Follies!

Went to see Dr. Wiz today to see if the 150 mg of Clo.mid did any good.

He looked at my lining first. It is 7.3 mm, which he said is a little thin but not bad. Then, he checked the ovaries.

I have 4 (4!) follicles. One at 17 mm, 2 at 18mm, and 1 at 20mm. He was stunned. He said he hasn't seen someone react to Clo.mid that well in a long time. (And he thought I needed injectables.) He said we're now at risk for multiples, but we are moving full steam ahead! I take my Ovi.drel shot tonight at 6, and we go in tomorrow afternoon for the IUI. I'm so excited.

Keep us in your prayers!

Oh, and once again, he didn't know we were using donor sp.erm. He asked us how motility was. Way to keep up the jerk trend, Dr. Wiz.