Wednesday, February 24, 2010

insert choice four letter word here

AF is 3 days late. 99% of me knows that it's due to stress and anxiety and stress...and stress. But that tiny little 1% says "Hey. Julz. Maybe your pregnant. Maybe the doctor was wrong. Maybe the testosterone shots DH has been taking are working, and now he's actually producing sp.erm...."

I would like to take a hammer and smash that little 1% into dust. It's completely ridiculous. I KNOW I can't get pregnant with my husband's child. I know that he has never, doesn't now, and will never produce sp.erm. I know that.

I know that.

But there's still that tiny little part of me that's hopeful all over again. I wish AF would just come already, so I don't have to feel this way.


  1. I have felt this way so many times. The logic knows its not possible, but the heart still holds hope. So, I'll keep on hoping right along with you. It definitely can't hurt.

  2. I am in exactly the same situation like you, I have been with my husband for 10 years , it was 7 years ago when I learned that we can not have a child and for 7 years each time my period is late I have this little voice inside me telling me you might be pregnant .............. I know how painful it is ... maybe one day a miracle cure will arrive

  3. I'm with you there! Its so hard to not hope...Its a rollercoaster every time you're just a little late. Now I'm back on bcp for endo, and not getting af at all...I don't miss my rollercoaster.
    Hang in there :)

  4. Oh Boy do I know this hope! We just can't help ourselves can we?