Sunday, November 22, 2009

Where'd it go?

I was having a great day. I don't know if it was the sunny day, having DH home from his trip, my little rant last night, or all three; but I was having a great day. I woke up in a good mood, got some much-needed shopping accomplished, had lunch with DH. And then, just like that, I could feel that little hole in my chest start growing. You know the one. The one that suddenly, painfully appeared when you found out there was a good chance you weren't having kids. Certainly not anytime soon.

And now it's back, and I have spent the afternoon reading blogs and crying in front of the computer.

Surely there's a better way.

My MIL called me this afternoon, to "talk about babies." She wanted to let me know that it's not the end of the road, and that I have no idea what God has in store for me. I have to admit, it's kind of nice having a MIL who went through MFI herself, back in the 60's. I certainly have more options than she did, which she reminded me. She wound up adopting my wonderful husband and my great SIL, which just goes to show, I guess.

Selfishly, it's not the thought of adopting or sperm donations or anything that is bothering me. It's the length of time it all takes. I have no patience, I guess.

1 comment:

  1. I found your blog through another blog and I so agree with you. We're dealing with male factor infertility as well and it seems like we wait and wait... only to wait some more. With us, our journey started 18 months ago and I think back to last December and how impatient I felt then after trying for only 6 months... I never would have thought that a year later, I'd still be in the same boat!