Optimism...

is for those with easy lives.

When DH and I started TTC 15 months ago, I was sure that by this time this year, we would be showing off an adorable baby to family and friends. I would be spending Thanksgiving with our angel, skipping Black Friday in favor of hanging out my baby.

When summer rolled around and I still wasn't pregnant, I wasn't worried. We're both teachers, and I figured we had the whole summer to do nothing but, well, you know. I was sure that by the time the holidays rolled around, we'd be decorating a nursery in the new house, and I would be one of those adorable pregnant women walking around the grocery store doing last minute shopping. I was sure I would be poring over the Black Friday sales papers, looking for goodies for my baby.

Now?

I'm not sure I'll ever be pregnant. I'm not sure we'll ever have a baby. The road before us looks terrifying. It's full of potholes, boulders, and sheer drop-offs. And I have no idea how to navigate it. I have no idea if what's supposed to carry us through together will make it. And I'm so scared.